I guess I should be weighing myself, but I’m not. When I weigh myself, I feel compelled to do so about six times a day, so I’m just trying to forget about scales. Also, the floor is terribly unlevel in every room of this house, so readings vary wildly depending on where I’ve placed the scale. I might run to the doctor’s office later today and weigh myself on their scale, though, if they’ll let me in for a minute to do so.
The other thing is that I’ve been trying to concentrate on overall fitness, not just weight.
I can judge my progress by a couple of things this week: I was able to run for a lot longer than usual, and a couple of pieces of clothing that I was wearing quite recently are now ridiculously, unflatteringly big on me. (Antoine’s mother, who sewed for the couture houses in Paris and always tailors my clothes, is taking them in. She took a good two inches off the waist of a pair of trousers, many inches off around the legs of the same trousers, and is now working on a jacket that I am swimming in.)
I was also quietly pleased to be told yesterday by my physiotherapist that I am “incredibly flexible” with “very strong” leg muscles. Since I was doing back bends in my underwear for her, I felt I deserved at least a kind word or two.
It was my first visit to the physio, to whom I was referred (privately, as I did not fancy waiting the months and months it would take to see an NHS physio) by a rheumatology consultant. I’ve always had a problem which I thought was with my hips, where they can get sore after a lot – or not very much – exercise, limiting my range of motion and sometimes throbbing so badly that I have to take painkillers to fall asleep at night. I had x-rays, which showed that my bones are in great shape, and the rheumatologist felt that it was a problem with inflamation of the adductor muscles in my thighs.
After making me do various bends, giving me physical challenges to gauge my strength, and pushing into my back for a while, the physiotherapist told me, “This is nothing to do with your legs or your hips. This is a lower back problem.”
I’m banned from doing sit-ups the way I have been doing them, and she showed me how to do them on a Swiss ball (one of which I thankfully already own). She also told me not to wear high heels, which almost made me cry, and so she modified it to say I should only wear them if I’m not going to be walking a significant distance or standing around a lot. I’ve got to buy all sorts of gear to modify my computer and desktop set-up. I’m also supposed to try to sleep on my back, something I have never been able to do. Oh, and I’m now wearing orthopedic insoles in my shoes at all times. Sexy!
I may need an MRI on my spine, but the physio is hopeful that we can sort out the problem without going down that road. The waiting list for MRIs is monstrously long, and to go privately for that would be about £700, so I’m hoping we can indeed sort it out. She also recommended that I start doing Pilates, to strengthen my core muscles and get me to really concentrate on my spinal health and posture at all times.
So I’m doing well, and I’m less down about my progress than I was last week. It is happening, albeit more slowly than I’d like, but that’s just how it goes. My biggest problem right now is that I feel tired all the time, and no amount of exercise gives me the much-promised extra energy I’d like to have. This may be a side effect of my depression, though. (Speaking of which, I am loving my therapist, who is really freaking smart and incisive. What a great investment in me he is turning out to be.)
I’m off to New York tomorrow, and I’m taking my running shoes so that I can jog in Central Park. I’ll need to, because I’m scheduled to have several meetings at restaurants almost every day I am there.
